After a long (and not so patient wait) I have finally found out that I have been placed in Kamikawa-cho, Hokkaido. That's the big, sparsely populated, northern-most island of Japan. I've managed to find the place on a map and everything! Check this out: http://www.jnto.go.jp/mapindex/E/mapindex.html
And there's a town homepage too http://www.town.kamikawa.hokkaido.jp/ but that's in Japanese. No, I don't read it either. Or speak for that matter. Kamikawa has a sister city relationship with Rocky Mountain House, according to the Calgary consulate webpage.
At the moment, I'm both excited and terrified. More excited though. Hokkaido has plenty of excellent skiing (I think there's a hill in Kamikawa-cho), onsen (hot springs!) and lots of hiking and parks and stuff.
Phew -- much better, now that I have an idea of where I'm going.
Hugs and kisses,