Post-ceremony, the wedding guests were herded to the reception. It was held in the same wedding castle on a hill. Japanese wedding receptions are funded by the guests, and can be very expensive. The tab for the reception this weekend was 13,000 yen (over $130 CDN). For that price, you get plenty to drink and eat, and at this particular western-style wedding reception, genuine gaijin entertainment. The food was western-style as well, with a grand total of eight courses (plus wedding cake). The high price of admittance allows the bride and groom to buy thank you gifts for all of the guests. There were also prizes during the course of the reception – including and iPod shuffle. That was the prize for correctly guessing the colour of the bride’s cocktail dress. Yes, the bride does a costume change during the reception, just to keep things interesting.
I brought along a gift of my own. I’ve been making pysanky, so I brought one that I had just finished. I’m making a bunch for friends and co-workers who are moving on to new jobs, but I figured a pysanky would be a unique gift for a newly married Japanese couple.
It was a very nice reception, and we were seated at what we dubbed the “exotic women” table. It was Jeshie and myself, and a number of the bride’s girlfriends from school who were all from Tokyo and Sapporo. I was the oldest unmarried girl at the wedding.
Yes, the single men and women were seated separately. In a culture where nudity is acceptable, mixing of the sexes at a wedding reception is not done. There wasn’t a band or any dancing either.
However, just after the “meat” course was served, Jeshie and I were brought forward to provide the genuine gaijin entertainment. Jeshie had requested that we not perform until people had at least a few drinks in them, ourselves included. I fear it wasn’t enough. Our first selection, “Moon River” wasn’t too bad. The upbeat Beatles number was a mess though. It was one of the longest 5 minutes of karaoke in my entire life. I’m glad it was a relatively young wedding with lots of kids – there was a swarm of small adorable children who migrated up to the front with us, distracting the crowd from the horror of our singing.
Japanese culture being what it is, everyone was very polite and told us what good singers we were. The bride and groom seemed genuinely happy with our performance and I guess that’s what counts. I hope though, that this doesn’t lead to any future wedding singer gigs. Between the dressing, the singing and the cost of attending, I don’t think it’s something I’ll be looking into as a future career.
***
The post-reception ni-ji kai
We figured we might as well go to the ni-ji kai as well. Who knows when we’d get invited to another wedding ni-ji kai?
It was one of the worst enkais I have been to. I must be too used to going to enkais with old men who don’t care what other people think of them. And who are already married. Again, the seating was separated by sex. It took a surprisingly long time for people to relax and open up. Again, we sat at the “exotic women” table. It took until after the bingo (a favorite enkai game)for people to start mingling and talking more freely.
The san-ji kai was either non-existent, or Japanese wedding receptions are where you are supposed to find a future spouse. We asked one of the girls at our table about what people would do for the ni-ji kai, and were informed that the san-ji kai was for couples. Jeshie and I took each other out for a san-ji kai, where in the Japanese tradition, forgot our shame with excessive alcohol before catching a train home.
Monday, April 03, 2006
New Year Jikoshokai (Self-introduction)
The beginning of April is the start of the new fiscal year in Japan. Unbeknownst to me, the first day of April is also the day when all of the new people are introduced at their offices. Which explains why everyone else was in a suit this morning.
We just finished with the official welcoming and conferring of official contracts for all of the new teachers in town. Complete with speeches, pictures, and of course a self-introduction. The teachers and school staff lined up on one side of the room, and the BOE staff (myself included) lined up on the other. And then we went around the room introducing ourselves. I felt like a complete ass in my everyday clothes. At least I decided against the tracksuit this morning. Thank goodness for small blessings. And they hid me in the back for the group picture so hopefully, no one will see that the ALT didn’t know to dress up for the first day of April.
We just finished with the official welcoming and conferring of official contracts for all of the new teachers in town. Complete with speeches, pictures, and of course a self-introduction. The teachers and school staff lined up on one side of the room, and the BOE staff (myself included) lined up on the other. And then we went around the room introducing ourselves. I felt like a complete ass in my everyday clothes. At least I decided against the tracksuit this morning. Thank goodness for small blessings. And they hid me in the back for the group picture so hopefully, no one will see that the ALT didn’t know to dress up for the first day of April.
ちょっとちがう/A Little Different: A Western-style wedding in Japan
Much like any other wedding I have attended, there was the requisite getting up very early to prepare for the event. The major difference this morning, however, was the continuous loop of “Moon River” and “I Want to Hold Your Hand” running on the stereo. The karaoke versions. Not my standard morning music, but later today, Jeshie and I would be singing at a Japanese wedding reception. And we hadn’t practiced. And did I mention that Jeshie is completely tone deaf? A wonderful person, but a terrible singer.
So, we got ourselves all prettied up.
Jeshie conveniently had a spare party dress on hand. A nice vintage number that fit me perfectly. The downside was that it had not been a very well treated vintage dress, and the taffeta overlay was well on its way towards disintegrating. We had patched up the visible damage, but it was only a temporary solution. Jeshie’s dress was even better. It no longer fit her, so we rigged her out with a scarf to hide the fact that her dress was undone. And sewed her in. There’s always someone who ends up being sewn into their dress at a wedding…
We were up at 6:30 to practice and prettify. Our train to the city left at 9:40. Plenty of time to do hair and makeup, get sewn into dresses, and practice our music… Dressed in our finery we caught the train with a bunch of Jeshie’s students on their way to the city. Jeshie pointed out that we were just as gawked at when we wore regular street clothes as we were today in party dresses and big hair.
We arrived at the castle on the hill shortly before eleven. That’s right, the ceremony was held at a wedding castle. On a hill. It was one of several in the area.
We were ushered into the wedding guest holding area. Unsurprisingly, we were the only non-Japanese people in attendance. And our hair, despite our best efforts and Jeshie’s “Level 10” hairspray was by no means the biggest. At the appointed time, we were brought to the chapel by a herd of ushers in white gloves. Actually, the wedding chapel was “St. Martin’s Cathedral”. It was jarring, being at a gothic, European-style “cathedral” where half the guests were in kimono. It was the church-iest church I have ever been inside, and at the same time the fakest. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to take pictures inside the “cathedral”. It featured a huge, ornate stained glass widow which depicted various well known stories from the bible. The pews were made of heavy wood, but with no kneelers. In their place were under-pew heaters set to leg melting. My legs have never been so warm inside a church. I thought I would pass out. There was a pipe organ at the front, and a triptych (??) depicting the writers of the gospel.
The participants entered.
The groom was first, dressed the Japanese interpretation of a western formal suit. It's the same one worn by a Junior High School principal at a graduation ceremony. Grey-pinstripe pants and tails. He was led into the “cathedral” by a pair of ushers in long white robes carrying long golden tapers. At their entrance, they bowed to greet the guests, bowing so low that the flames they carried touched the ground.
And then the bride. Here comes the bride, in a white meringue dress. Her father gave her away to the groom with a bow.
The rest of the ceremony went very much as you would expect a wedding ceremony to go. Complete with the singing of hymns in Japanese (“I have a friend in Jesus”), and a reading from the bible (the standard wedding reading, “Love is patient, love is kind…”), vows (there was much snickering from the groom’s side of the aisle when he answered “Hai!” in an overly loud voice), and an exchange of rings.
I’ve had two friends now get married in Japan (not including the couple at the front of the church today). The technical “getting married” part is extremely bureaucratic. You go to the town office, get the correct paper-work stamped by the appropriate people and voila! You’re married! The ceremony, although important, is more of an afterthought. I guess that’s why there isn’t a problem with appropriating a western religious-style wedding.
The whole experience was as though someone had very carefully studied a western-style wedding and attempted to recreate it. The right elements were there: the church, the pews, the bride in a white meringue dress, the groom in tie and tails. But the ceremony felt empty. It was the distilled essence of the ceremony, without the feeling.
Even the end of the ceremony was exactly to “western wedding” standards. There was a special staircase for the bride and groom to walk down so that they could be showered with rose petals. And there was even a bouquet toss for all of the single women.
It turns out this was an actual church-approved wedding service. The “cathedral” is a United Methodist. I can’t help but wonder who is getting rich off of this business. The layout of the building is such that once you have finished one ceremony, you can shuffle the wedding party to their reception and send a new couple in to the cathedral to get married.
So, we got ourselves all prettied up.
Jeshie conveniently had a spare party dress on hand. A nice vintage number that fit me perfectly. The downside was that it had not been a very well treated vintage dress, and the taffeta overlay was well on its way towards disintegrating. We had patched up the visible damage, but it was only a temporary solution. Jeshie’s dress was even better. It no longer fit her, so we rigged her out with a scarf to hide the fact that her dress was undone. And sewed her in. There’s always someone who ends up being sewn into their dress at a wedding…
We were up at 6:30 to practice and prettify. Our train to the city left at 9:40. Plenty of time to do hair and makeup, get sewn into dresses, and practice our music… Dressed in our finery we caught the train with a bunch of Jeshie’s students on their way to the city. Jeshie pointed out that we were just as gawked at when we wore regular street clothes as we were today in party dresses and big hair.
We arrived at the castle on the hill shortly before eleven. That’s right, the ceremony was held at a wedding castle. On a hill. It was one of several in the area.
We were ushered into the wedding guest holding area. Unsurprisingly, we were the only non-Japanese people in attendance. And our hair, despite our best efforts and Jeshie’s “Level 10” hairspray was by no means the biggest. At the appointed time, we were brought to the chapel by a herd of ushers in white gloves. Actually, the wedding chapel was “St. Martin’s Cathedral”. It was jarring, being at a gothic, European-style “cathedral” where half the guests were in kimono. It was the church-iest church I have ever been inside, and at the same time the fakest. Unfortunately, we were not allowed to take pictures inside the “cathedral”. It featured a huge, ornate stained glass widow which depicted various well known stories from the bible. The pews were made of heavy wood, but with no kneelers. In their place were under-pew heaters set to leg melting. My legs have never been so warm inside a church. I thought I would pass out. There was a pipe organ at the front, and a triptych (??) depicting the writers of the gospel.
The participants entered.
The groom was first, dressed the Japanese interpretation of a western formal suit. It's the same one worn by a Junior High School principal at a graduation ceremony. Grey-pinstripe pants and tails. He was led into the “cathedral” by a pair of ushers in long white robes carrying long golden tapers. At their entrance, they bowed to greet the guests, bowing so low that the flames they carried touched the ground.
And then the bride. Here comes the bride, in a white meringue dress. Her father gave her away to the groom with a bow.
The rest of the ceremony went very much as you would expect a wedding ceremony to go. Complete with the singing of hymns in Japanese (“I have a friend in Jesus”), and a reading from the bible (the standard wedding reading, “Love is patient, love is kind…”), vows (there was much snickering from the groom’s side of the aisle when he answered “Hai!” in an overly loud voice), and an exchange of rings.
I’ve had two friends now get married in Japan (not including the couple at the front of the church today). The technical “getting married” part is extremely bureaucratic. You go to the town office, get the correct paper-work stamped by the appropriate people and voila! You’re married! The ceremony, although important, is more of an afterthought. I guess that’s why there isn’t a problem with appropriating a western religious-style wedding.
The whole experience was as though someone had very carefully studied a western-style wedding and attempted to recreate it. The right elements were there: the church, the pews, the bride in a white meringue dress, the groom in tie and tails. But the ceremony felt empty. It was the distilled essence of the ceremony, without the feeling.
Even the end of the ceremony was exactly to “western wedding” standards. There was a special staircase for the bride and groom to walk down so that they could be showered with rose petals. And there was even a bouquet toss for all of the single women.
It turns out this was an actual church-approved wedding service. The “cathedral” is a United Methodist. I can’t help but wonder who is getting rich off of this business. The layout of the building is such that once you have finished one ceremony, you can shuffle the wedding party to their reception and send a new couple in to the cathedral to get married.
ちょっと二日ようい, What a way to start the new year
I wandered into work this morning, and was surprised to see everyone my usually very casual office in dark suits. “Uh-oh… what memo did I miss?”, I thought to myself. Shortly after I arrived, all of the guys in the office left, leaving me with the two ladies in the office to explain goings-on to me. Turns out today is the start of the new year, the new term. I’m sure there’s some ceremony with multiple long boring speeches going on. There’s also a stack of what look like certificates, but could well be contracts sitting on my supervisor’s desk.
I hope that there’s nothing expected of me today. I was up early this morning to drive home from Pippu-cho, where I crashed after my performance as a wedding singer. And of course, after the wedding reception, I tried to forget the whole thing by smacking myself in the head repeatedly with bottles of cheap whiskey. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but isn’t making for a pleasant morning. Not knowing what the hell is going on is not helping matters.
I hope that there’s nothing expected of me today. I was up early this morning to drive home from Pippu-cho, where I crashed after my performance as a wedding singer. And of course, after the wedding reception, I tried to forget the whole thing by smacking myself in the head repeatedly with bottles of cheap whiskey. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but isn’t making for a pleasant morning. Not knowing what the hell is going on is not helping matters.
Saturday, April 01, 2006
Week in review
Well, it's been a whole week of sitting in the BOE. On the positive side, I've done a lot of Japanese studying. On the negative side, I've been bored to tears. Good thing I have activities outside of work to keep me from going mental.
Wednesday:
Another sobetsukai (farewell party). The sobetsukai follows the same format of all other enkais. Arrive, opening speeches, and kanpai before the eating and drinking begin. Wednesday's enkai was for Kuyiyama-sensei, one of the staff at the BOE who will be retiring. Not that he really did anything anyways. I think he "worked" as an advisor, which meant he was the Japanese equivalent of an ALT on spring break. He was heavily involved in the community though, and did a lot of work with a local choir.
At sobetsukais, the person or people who are leaving are honoured with speeches and gifts. At the sobetsukai I went to for the teachers leaving the Junior High School this year, they were all given small gifts (often gag gifts) and a photo album of everyone on staff this year. We were also all asked to write a farewell message to each of the departing teachers. I managed to impress everyone with my ability to write 先生 (sensei) in kanji. Go, go Grade 1 reading level! The albums were actually very funny. All of the other teachers took crazy photos in costume. Had I known, I would have too.
At Kuriyama-sensei's sobetsukai, it was a much less involved affair, but a good chance to go out and socialize with my co-workers at the BOE. And be given a new nickname -- "marin-chan". So as not to be confused with "maru-chan", one of the guys that works at the school lunch center. It's kind of strange to hear a guy referred to with -chan, which is generally reserved for girls, girlfriends and close female friends. They even call him this when he comes to visit our office.
Thursday:
I had to reschedule my usual shuji lesson, which as always was very fun. We've been practicing joined-up hiragana, which I think is beautiful. It's very difficult to get the characters to flow like they're supposed to. Check out this photo on my
flickr photo page to see some notes I added about what I was trying to improve.
Friday:
Not a lot going on. Made some dinner, watched some videos, did some preparation for my debut as a wedding singer this weekend. My god, I can't believe I'm doing this. Thankfully, we will only be subjecting people to two songs. I'll be heading over to Jessie's place today so we can practice singing. I'll let you know how it goes...
Wednesday:
Another sobetsukai (farewell party). The sobetsukai follows the same format of all other enkais. Arrive, opening speeches, and kanpai before the eating and drinking begin. Wednesday's enkai was for Kuyiyama-sensei, one of the staff at the BOE who will be retiring. Not that he really did anything anyways. I think he "worked" as an advisor, which meant he was the Japanese equivalent of an ALT on spring break. He was heavily involved in the community though, and did a lot of work with a local choir.
At sobetsukais, the person or people who are leaving are honoured with speeches and gifts. At the sobetsukai I went to for the teachers leaving the Junior High School this year, they were all given small gifts (often gag gifts) and a photo album of everyone on staff this year. We were also all asked to write a farewell message to each of the departing teachers. I managed to impress everyone with my ability to write 先生 (sensei) in kanji. Go, go Grade 1 reading level! The albums were actually very funny. All of the other teachers took crazy photos in costume. Had I known, I would have too.
At Kuriyama-sensei's sobetsukai, it was a much less involved affair, but a good chance to go out and socialize with my co-workers at the BOE. And be given a new nickname -- "marin-chan". So as not to be confused with "maru-chan", one of the guys that works at the school lunch center. It's kind of strange to hear a guy referred to with -chan, which is generally reserved for girls, girlfriends and close female friends. They even call him this when he comes to visit our office.
Thursday:I had to reschedule my usual shuji lesson, which as always was very fun. We've been practicing joined-up hiragana, which I think is beautiful. It's very difficult to get the characters to flow like they're supposed to. Check out this photo on my
flickr photo page to see some notes I added about what I was trying to improve.
Friday:
Not a lot going on. Made some dinner, watched some videos, did some preparation for my debut as a wedding singer this weekend. My god, I can't believe I'm doing this. Thankfully, we will only be subjecting people to two songs. I'll be heading over to Jessie's place today so we can practice singing. I'll let you know how it goes...
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